Turn Down the Volume! Mad Cow Disease!

Case of the Mad Cow!

Dear Rainy Day Times Readers,

     “Please turn down the chewing volume, would ya?” You might hear someone say. It’s a crime- it’s a disease. Loud. Gum. Chewing. There are so many people that fall guilty to this nasty habit. “People are seriously turning into grazing cows.” said Wendy Birk, high school art teacher. “I had to put a sign on my door that read ‘No Cows In The Classroom’ just to stop the herds from coming by and stealing my sanity!”

     “There’s only one cure.” Says high school English teacher Pam Rodgers, “Kids have got to either turn down the volume, or STOP CHEWING GUM! Because quite frankly, it’s disgusting to not only smell it, but hear the flavor of gum you’re chewing. That should be a law in the states.” Mad cow disease is sweeping the nation as kids smack down harder than ever on their favorite flavor of chewing gum. “From mint, to flavors like ‘Exotic Pineapple’ kids will chew anything as long as they have gum. I banned chewing gum from my classroom after my students started getting into fights about how loud others were chewing.” Birk says, “…in the hallways it’s like a carnival.”

     Are you one of those offenders? Science teacher Kari Blackmon says to you, “If you even think about chewing a piece of gum in my classroom, I won’t think twice about putting your name on a detention slip. Wink, wink.”

     “It is true that some kids can’t help it. For example, if they have braces. But either way…there are kids out there who do it to be ‘cool’. And really, everyone in the room secretly hates them, and the teacher, for not doing anything about it. Loud gum chewers can actually affect others kids’ grades and should be delt with appropiately and quickly.” Birk says.

     So, will the country fall victim to Mad Cow Disease?


Sent in to Rainy Day Times Writers & Editors

Just another grazing cow...


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